Society Will Destroy Us All

The society we live in is a messed up place. It is the reason for so many terrible things. Anorexia, because we have become so convinced that skinny is pretty and nothing else is acceptable. Fashion, because if you aren't up to date on the latest clothing and haven't bought what is most expensive then you are not cool enough. Often, teen suicide is the fault of media and its cruel messages. These dumb things that society and the media are trying to convince people with is completely disgusting. Media is slowly destroying our self-eestem and our self-control. And it will only get worse. The saddest part is that we will never be able to truly defend ourselves. We will always be undermined by the big media world. We are the product of the experiments. How can we beat that?
"There is nothing wrong with your body but there is a lot wrong with the messages which try to convince you otherwise."

OMFG.

Ugggghh. Why does everything suck so bad? I hate feeling this unhappy all of the time. I hate having to deal with all the shit in my head and having no one to talk too. Coffee makes me feel better sometimes. I ALWAYS wish I could just disappear for awhile. And then maybe come back. Or move away and start over somewhere else. I'm stuck in a constant cycle of boringness and unhappiness. What am I even supposed to do now?! Since when did it become so hard just to live a normal life? I think I die a little bit more ever day.
"Enjoy your body. After all, others have."

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Oh my gosh. Please tell me someone else out there has seen this amazing movie too. I haven't met anyone yet. Rocky Horror is my favorite movie ever. Besides The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Gosh, those are long titles. Tim Curry is just so amazing. I love him an unbelievable amount. Then to go experience it in a theatre, <3333333. I cant wait to take people to go experience it and spread the joy of Rocky Horror. :D If you haven't seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show, please go watch it. You won't regret it. The man who created this movie (plays Riff Raff) is an absolute genius. Man, I'm so in love with everything. Wow.
"You see I'm making a man, with blonde hair and tan, and he's good for reliving my tension."

A Puzzling Quote

I just saw this and it blew my mind. Its gorgeous.
"What right has my head to call itself me?"
<3

One Productive Thing.

Yesterday, I accomplished something amazing. It might be the only productive thing Ill ever do in my life. I stopped one of the most amazing people I know from cutting herself for the first time. I'm just so happy for her.  I feel like I've helped someone to not go through a dark depressing path. My main goal is to make her feel happy again. She deserves it. I just cant watch her deal with cutting to cope. I would do anything for her. For once, I feel a little effective. I doubt it will last. But for the mean time...

New Friend

I think i found someone who might care. I think i found an actual good person. Maybe someone will finally save me. (:
"I won't let you make the great escape"
-P!nk The Great Escape

Save You

This is my favorite thing ever. I hope it affects you as much as it does me. Good luck, sweetheart. <3
"Where did i go wrong? I lost a friend."
-The Fray How to Save a Life

My Wishes for Everyone

Hello! Happy Thanksgiving! I hope your life is going well and that you are enjoying it. I hope that you had a lot to be thankful for. If life seems to suck and you don't think you can handle it anymore, just think that there are people who are going through the same thing and you are never alone, even if it seems like it. I hope that helped, even if it was only a little. This week, attempt to do one small thing that will brighten a stranger's day. If you do just one thing, then you will have given the gift of joy. It is the best gift you could ever give. Just remember that everything you do and say, has an impact. Good luck in life, sweetheart. <3

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
-The Lorax

The Songs That Save My Nights.

-I Wanna Know What Love Is
-Hopelessly Devoted
-If I Didn't Know Better
<3

Oh God.

I just can't stop shaking.

Not Eating.

30 hour fast. Only have 4 hours left. Is it wierd that I love the feeling of my stomach growling and being so empty? I guess I'll eat a little bit when this is over.

My Mind Constantly Races

I wonder what started this long downhill spiral. The first time I ever cut and how I handled it. The way that it used to feel like it solved everything but now it feels like nothing can ever solve my problems. The last thing I wonder is if, in the future, things do it better, or if thats just a dumb motivational saying that an idiot made up. Im not sure if i should stick around to find out.

"The dreams in which Im dying are the best Ive ever had."

The Butterfly Project

I tried the butterfly project this week and successfully allowed my butterfly to live. I named it Natalie. Im proud. I just continued to think... I can kill her. I just cant. Now she is washed off and I have to decide whether to do it again or not.. Hmm.
"I can't afford antidepressants so I'm drinking No More Tears shampoo."

Oh My Sweet, Sweet Love

What if I tried to kiss you? What if I told you I wanted you?
Would you tell me you felt the same way? Or that we could never work?
I don't think I'm going to take my chances. Sometimes, a heart can only take so much. So I'll sit back and pretend like you are only my best friend and that is all I think of you as.

Dumb Games

To me, it seems like Jenga is the dumbest game in the world. You spend all this time building it up, just to deliberately knock it down. And you know it is going to fall because that's how you declare a winner. It seems incredibly pointless.

But I think we might do the same thing in life. Build it up, to watch it come crashing down. Maybe that didn't make any sense..

I hate school. When did it become so much work? 5 hours of homework almost every night. Wtf. My head is about to explode. Not only does homework suck, but so does the school day. I hate my classes and annoying teachers. And also I hate the people. They suck alot. Well hopefully I can hang out with that cute girl next weekend. She's one of the only people I want to talk to. Maybe she will make the sadness stop. That's high hopes for someone so unpredictable. Damn..
"You're thinking bad thoughts, I can tell."

These People..

I don't understand why people are fake. What is the point in that? Why would they pretend like they care if they really don't? I'm talking about my friends.. sorry my "friends", to be specific. They waste SO much time pretending to worry about me or care about me but the whole time they couldn't care the least bit. Why don't people just be honest with one another? Is it because they care too much about what others will think? It seems like most people are obsessed with what people might think of them. They are afraid of being judge and not being liked. Why does it matter what small-minded people think of you? It shouldn't. But yet society seems convinced it has to prove itself to one another. I've never understood it and maybe that is a good thing. But I honestly worry for those who can't seem to get past it. I wish you all the best in life.
"When I die I'll go to heaven because I've spent my time in hell."

Falling

Sometimes I think the hardest thing to do is just making it through the day.. or night. FML. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

"Hell is empty and all the devils are here."
-William Shakespeare